Have you ever poured too much vinegar into a salad dressing, only to regret it? Recently, I made basil vinaigrette that made me cough from the back of my throat, but when drizzled over the fresh arugula grown in my backyard, it was perfect. Kids are a bit like cooking—when you're in the day-to-day, it's tough to balance everything just right. But here’s the secret: it’s not about the quantity of time you spend with your little ones, but the quality of it.
Life is full of responsibilities—work, home, relationships—and our kids would be happy if none of it got done. They just want us. They don’t care about paying the mortgage, the laundry pile, or the social commitments we make. They want to play. They want our attention.
And it’s beautiful when we can give them that time. If you're wondering what quality time means, it’s engaging in meaningful interactions. Two ways to do that are through play and structured learning. Whether it’s fifteen minutes of pure, uninterrupted play or a couple of cozy bedtime stories, these moments wire their brains to feel safe and loved. When you let them lead in play, they get a basic need met—just narrate what they’re doing, build with them, make-believe with them. Yes, it can feel repetitive, but you have full permission to be silly.
Another great way to bond is through learning—reading together, counting, talking, discovering colors and shapes—whatever level of learning they’re at. Learning is just as important as everyday rituals—eating meals together, bath time splashing, and bedtime snuggles. Learning together builds their confidence in school and life. If you leave it all to teachers and tutors, you miss out on giving your kids the mama-dada factor—the unique connection only parents can provide. It shows them you’re invested in their success. This is quality time.
As your kids grow, quality time evolves. It might be open-ended conversations, planning, or experiencing adventures together. You want to keep having these meaningful interactions. Think about your relationship with your parents. When was the last time you talked to them every day? Maybe in college, when you didn’t call home for a month? Maybe before life got busy and you leveled up at work and started a family? Or maybe it was junior high, when you stopped speaking to them even though you lived under the same roof. Now ask yourself, what kind of relationship would you have wanted?
Think about your kids—right now, they need you. You speak with them every day. And one day, they’ll still need you, just in a different way. You’ll want to stay connected—having real conversations, keeping communication open, even when it’s hard to forge a connection. Staying connected now builds a foundation for the future. Engage in meaningful interactions, and if they’re still little, cherish the giggles, the tiny hands wrapping around your legs, the “Mama, Mama, Mama!” moments. It doesn’t last forever.
